The beginning of this month was awesome. I got so much work done around the house. I finished a few books and started some new ones. I played with the pup and talked to some good friends and started cooking again. I had energy, and then… I lost it.
I haven’t been reading or writing or enjoying my space. All I want to do lately is sleep. Sometimes, when things get to be too much, I search for adoptable dogs, and think about rescuing another one. Inevitably, every time I think too much about it, my heart hurts. I miss my Marshall. He was my best friend and the thing that I came home to after a rough day. He was the constant happy source, and provided so much love. I still miss him, and I think about him every single day. I wish that he were here with me, comfortable and safe and happy. I miss seeing his face every day and taking him outside and all I keep thinking about his how much he would have loved the fence and the other house updates. he would have loved to play with the cats and the pup. He would have claimed his spot at the bay window. And, the yard. Y’all. He would have never wanted to come back inside.
I know that he would have welcomed another doggo to the house, his biggest thing (second to food) was making sure that all of us were happy. It’s been four months since I’ve said goodbye to my best friend and it just doesn’t feel like the right time to start to find another one. Some weeks, I want a dog so badly, and other weeks… I just don’t know.